Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

Where have you found peace?

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I’ve found peace for my purpose in life. For so many years, I’ve wondered and questioned my purpose in life. All this time, I’ve overcomplicated the meaning.

My purpose is primarily to stay connected to God. Establishing and maintaining a strong connection to God will lead me to living a purposeful life. Staying true to who I am further confirms that I am a child of God.

Having shared this, life is not going to be easy breezy forever. All I can do is to navigate the storms calmly and compassionately. Compassion for the situation, for others, and for myself.

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What virtue do you want more of in your life?

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I would want more patience in my life. Sometimes I find myself interrupting someone who’s telling a story because I want to guess the ending of the it. I’m that annoying person who asks questions during commercial breaks because I’m wondering what will happen to the storyline when we return from the break.

One area where I do have a LOT of patience is working with children. I can observe a child or help them work through their challenges for hours. My level of compassion for their learning process is high. I find it an honor to be the one to encourage them when they get frustrated with an activity. It’s amazing how empowered the child can feel when they finish the task without help from an adult. It’s amazing to witness and fun to be a part of the child’s wonderment.

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What can you do that you could not do a year ago?

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I can finally work with children and get paid for it! I’ve been a dedicated weekly volunteer at my local church in the Early Kids ministry. I’m that person who gets excited at Back to School sales because I love school supplies.

Getting to work with children during the week fills my soul and proverbial cup so much! I get to have multiple kids give me a BIG hug after I say goodbye to the Lead Teacher and aides. Who doesn’t love a child’s hug?! It just warms my soul. That’s the ultimate performance rewards in my book.

Also, it’s nice to be working with a team and not within an office cubicle with a computer. Getting out from being behind a desk is the BEST decision I’ve made in a very long time!

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What do you spend too much time doing?

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I spend a lot of time watching TV and I love it! It gives me an opportunity to observe the lives of others with zero to no risk of emotional vulnerability. Let’s take the example of reality TV. I personally avoid confrontations and conflict like a death-inducing allergy. As a fan of Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise, I can watch other women have conflicts and somewhat resolve them on screen. The conflict and resolution styles spark conversations with my own friends when we chat about the show. I get to learn more about my friend and their perspective through these chats.

But most of the time, I enjoy watching for the sake of imagination and traveling into a world of fantasy. If I’m in the mood, I would select a documentary and learn more about a certain subject.

After all the hours spent in front of the TV, I’ve enjoyed every minute and look forward to watching more in the future.

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What risk are you happy that you took?

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Much like the seven doors in the image above, I retired out of an accounting door and entered into the door next to it, education.

I’m happy at the risk of going back to school to pursue a different career. Most people I’ve worked with has said that there a many transferable skills from the world of accounting and bookkeeping that can be applied to the classroom. I wholeheartedly agree.

Working with children means there are a lot more adults involved: parents, guardians, colleagues, and administrations. Working in the corporate world of business has taught me to be a team player with the eyes of the bigger picture, whatever it may be for the top executive position holders. Merge those together and voila! You’ll see the three sections of a venn diagram.

Yes, children may take more patience, encouragements, and compassion. Adults need an advanced level of these traits because of each person’s life experience. At thirty six, I can say that I can a streak of stubbornness that can wear down anybody trying to convince me to try something new that doesn’t interest me. With that, it takes a separate set of skills to persuade adults compared to children or even compared to teenagers. Working with all three major age categories (adults includes seniors), they each have their unique perspectives to unlock much like a human mystery.

Personalities intrigue me. Personality tests such as the Enneagram (I’m a 2W1) and the Myer-Briggs (I’m an INFJ) gave me a sense of self understanding that I didn’t realize was available back then as a teenager. If I knew each person’s personality, I believe it’ll lower the risk of disagreements between two misunderstood persons.

Overall, I’m a big fan of calculated risk. It has taught me that proper planning, focus, and dedication can result in the most satisfying of outcomes. In life choices, calculated risk is my love language. Whatever fear factors that may arise during the planning process can be addressed. Sometimes, it’s a matter of having a conversation with the person that’s living out your goal. It can help to hear the reality of dreams. Usually, dreams don’t have many clouds. That’s where reality can bring in and these “clouds” helped me a lot in determining whether the risk is worth the rewards.

Figure out if the rewards is worth the risk, then go for it! I like to plan things all out in my head, then on paper, before sharing it with the person (besides yourself) that would be impacted by the risk the most. If the you can get past head-planning and paper-planning, the reward is something that truly means something significant for you.

So, brainstorm your risks! Is it something that’s been on your mind for a while? Is there something holding you back?

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What did you learn from your biggest regret?

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From my biggest regret, I learned to forgive myself. I spent time carrying guilt and shame that no longer belongs to me because I’ve acknowledged my part and asked for forgiveness. The thing about regret is that there’s no way to undo it. That part is the hardest to accept. I can’t undo the regret but I can try to avoid making another.

Living without regrets is challenging. It takes constant self awareness and wisdom that may not be readily available at decisive moments. It’s possible though challenging. Doing the right thing, in the right way, at the right time, takes sympathy and empathy for yourself and for others. With that, I challenge myself to make better decisions with the choices that are given.

Do you have any regrets? What have you learned from it?

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What is your perfect day?

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My perfect day is sleeping in and waking up naturally. That’ll usually bring me to breakfast, my favorite meal of the day. I’ll have coffee, orange juice, some form of eggs benedict, hash browns, and pancakes.

Now that I’m all full, I’ll wander around a town and explore shops, museums, and their local attractions. Something along the lines of Solvang, CA will be cute. I visited the Ostrich Farm early in the morning before heading into Solvang and it was awesome! The weather was mild. The ostriches and emus were hungry so they all came out to meet us so they can eat from our bowl full of feed.

After wandering around, I’ll probably want a snack or a late lunch at a local eatery. Even better, if the eatery has been a long-standing favorite of the locals. I’ll try whatever the server would recommend as a first-time visitor.

For the evening, I’ll probably catch a movie at the local theater. If there’s a local entertainment venue, I’ll try to check it out. Then a quiet night, back at the inn or hotel, and end my day with a nice hour of book reading.

That’ll be my perfect day!

What’s your perfect day? Would you explore a new place or revisit a familiar place?

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What was your childhood dream?

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As a child, I daydreamed a lot. I had an active imagination playing out in my mind, especially if I’m not watching Cantonese TV dramas and movies with my grandma over lunch or dinner. Then at about seven years old, I started learning to play the piano at my cousin’s teacher’s local home studio. It is a glorious feeling to express my emotions through music without words! Every day, after school and homework, I would sit at the piano and practice. I enjoyed the feeling of nailing a passage of music to perfection…into muscle memory. If I wasn’t so self-conscious, I would’ve given myself a high five right at the piano bench.

Joining music theory class to learn about key signatures, chord structures, and biographies of composers of different eras is my most interesting class of the week. My teacher also hold weekly Friday evening recitals so she could critique our performance. Sometimes, she would ask an older student to peer critique. It keeps us actively listening and not sleeping through the performances. It also helps us get past any stage fright because we’re performing in front of an average of 10+ peers whose ages range from 7 – 18 years old.

Arriving early to these music theory classes and performance recitals, I would help set up the 8-chair rows with a gap in the middle as an aisle. This way, we can practice taking a bow and walking back to our seat. Snacks and refreshments preparations include making the punch. The punch is made up of frozen pineapple chunks (as ice), a half gallon of orange or lime sorbet and a liter of lemon lime soda (usually Canada Dry). Empty all these ingredients into a glass punch bowl and stirring it all together with a ladle gives me the privilege of tasting the drink first.

My piano teacher is now a friend and mentor. Her life seems so ideal: self-employment with the privilege of setting her own hours and lesson rates. Lessons are typically afternoon or evening on weekdays as well as Saturdays. Little did I know, this career stems from necessity and not entirely from passion. I’ll be the first to say, this is shocking news to me because she is my best teacher. My middle school band teacher asks if I would consider joining his choir. He sees that the exploratory class of trumpet lessons did not match my abilities in 5th grade. I’m so grateful that he recognizes it. I show up in his class, stand on the first level of the riser and the rest is history. I sing as if I am alone in the room. From then on, my classical music foundation and Broadway musicals merges onto a beautiful harmony that would be my adolescent.

Moving away from the school that hosts my first choir is difficult. But, onwards and upwards! I join the high school concert choir as a Soprano in my freshman year. As a sophomore, I auditioned and was accepted into the all-female show choir ensemble. I didn’t share it with anyone at the time but my memory starts to slip. I forgot lyrics during my a cappella audition. How embarrassing! Memorizing a whole piece for piano seems daunting too. It used to take me a few months to learn and absorb a piece into muscle memory. As a teenager, it took me years and I would still blank out at certain passages. At that point, I knew my solo piano competition days were over. Luckily, show choir gave me a group effort and the distraction of choreography if I ever forgot the lyrics.

Having wonderful music teachers to lean on throughout my learning journey gives me the desire to engage, connect, and understand others at a deeper level. I mean, as deep as teenagers can be at that point. As an easygoing personality that dislikes conflict, I blend into groups with ease. I learn how to listen while keeping my internal judgment to myself, unless asked. I remember thinking as long as it wasn’t about me or damaging to others, I’ll allow it.

Having great role models in the form of teachers, inspires me to become one. Being a commuter college student, I felt isolated and detached. As such, I dropped out and started working in office jobs. After 18 years of desk jobs being office assistant to customer service to bookkeeper to corporate accountant, I’ve built enough of an office career.

I’m starting a new chapter by entering into the classroom. Leading a classroom of preschoolers to be specific. I accepted an offer to be an Instructional Aide for the 2023-2024 school year at a local school union district! I’m looking forward to the opportunity to be a role model and aide to students, teachers, and families. I want to help students develop a love of learning. The love of learning is something of a hobby of mine. Learning something new, trivial or important, gives me a sense of daily progress.

I didn’t know it at the time but my childhood dream was to be a teacher. Being a role model to others can be quite vague of a description as it’s a mindset of being a leader. We can lead from right where we are to whoever is around us.

Now that you’ve read about my story, what was your childhood dream? Did your dream change? Are you living the dream now? If not, when would you like to start living the dream?

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

Journey towards ECE and #MyIntent

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Dear readers,

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since my last post! Time truly does fly by faster than it may seem on certain days. At the beginning of 2023, I witnessed a former coworker’s reaction to their layoff. I didn’t realize it, at the time, but I will begin a 5-month journey of self-reflection that includes career coaching, talk therapy, and a mood-stabilizing prescription. Why am I sharing this? Because I’m taking a leap of faith to leave my comfortable desk job as a corporate accountant and in pursuit of becoming an early educator (preschool teacher).

Yes, this may very well be a “mid-life” crisis. I am a married, 36 year old woman who is child-free, by choice. I had someone ask me, “is this about you wanting to become a mother?” I politely responded, “it could be though I’m seeking professional help for a couple months to figure this out.” I mean, what else could I have said? Quitting my job and returning to my local community college, to take 2 classes from the Early Childhood Education (ECE) department, sounds extreme. But, is it really?

I’ve been a dedicated weekly volunteer at my church’s early Kid’s Ministry (nursery – Pre-K’s 5 year olds) for over 10 years combined. Post pandemic, I’ve been asked to become a volunteer coach and help staff oversee a team of adult and teen volunteers. It’s been a blast. Every week, it’s the morning I look forward to the most. Yes, there are more challenging mornings than others but I only engage with each child for 1 hour, tops. Being a weekly familiar face is comforting for returning parents and I get to grow with their family, one week at a time. It’s a true honor!

This led me to explore the field of ECE so I can be more impactful in my time with children and families. There are some naysayers that feel that I would be less equipped to be a teacher because I don’t have children of my own. I disagree with this misconception wholeheartedly. I love being a dog owner (parent) but I don’t wish to become a veterinarian. I wish to dedicate my time to create a nurturing environment for the children in my classroom. I want to spend time partnering with families on developing their child to reach their milestones. So much so, that learning becomes a lifelong hobby.

Is this a giant feat? It could be. It could also be loads of fun! After all, a child’s work is through play. An infant reaching to touch your face is learning attachment bond while developing their fine motor skill. A toddler propping themselves up and taking their first step is developing their gross motor skill. Getting a heartfelt hug from a child when they enter the classroom or a smile from a game of peekaboo is one of the fine luxuries and rewards of being a preschool teacher. I reserve my daily energy to spend it all with children and families at school or at church.

Making the choice of being child-free has given me a home space of quiet retreat where I can laze about doing whatever. Quality time is my love language and having the ability to spend it however I’d like is something that I’ll cherish to the end of my days.

Thanks for sticking with me and reading until here. This is only the beginning of my journey towards teaching preschool. I look forward to sharing my adventures with you as the months progress. To commit to blogging, I’ve found a way to share myself through the #MyIntent project. I bought a deck of their 33 meaningful question cards that entails 6 categories: Let Go, Be Me, Dream, Grow, Love, and Serve. Starting this week, I commit to a weekly Saturday post that answers one of these 33 questions. You’ll get to learn more about me and feel free to email me to share your answer to the same question. It’ll be an interesting way to get to know you personally as a human from a distance. To take the pressure off, feel free to be anonymous. I love alias and pen names, so give it a go and we’ll travel along together in spirit!