Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What is a defining moment in your life and how did it impact you?

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Though I’m nearing the last few questions of the conversation-starter questions of the My Intent Project, this will be my final post for it. I’ve fallen off my posting “schedule” and I think I’ve talked enough about myself by now. I’m typically open to discussing my life and thoughts with anyone who has the time to listen and engage with me. Don’t ever feel like you can’t reach out and ask me. I might be more interested in your take on life and your thoughts though.

I chose this 2-part question as my final post because it seems to be one that I’ve answered a lot more recently due to my right turn towards another career field. I am pursuing Early Childhood Education after 13 years of bookkeeping and staff accountant roles at various companies.

Those who ask me this question wonder…

“How did you know it was time?” It was an accumulation of moments for me. My longest time was with a travel/leisure company for 8 years. I lasted as long because I was progressively promoted about after the first through third year, and stayed in my final role for five years. Then, the pandemic arrived and I was part of the reduction in force layoff. If my life was a book, it would be the last couple of years in the accounting chapter of my life. I tried to restart myself in the next two jobs and worked with wonderfully brilliant people. But, my heart stayed with my class of children that I work with every Sunday.

“How did you know which field to go into?” I may have always known all along and hid behind the fears of failure and responsibility. For the last fourteen years, I’ve been volunteering on Sundays in the Early Kids Ministry at my local church. This church can be classified as a “mega-church” where you get to be involved in as little or as much as you feel comfortable. I jumped into working with children because I love gaining their trust in the nursery, witnessing their tremendous developmental growth in their first year. Then, their continual wonder and curiousity when they become two years-old. Now, I work with three to five years old and it’s been so much fun! Parents are grateful to have one hour to listen to God’s message and I’m privileged to have their trust in helping their child find and follow Jesus. Yes, they may be young, but Jesus can be their friend forever, if they allow him to be with them. At that young age, there’s a wave of independence yet the strong pull to be socially accepted by their peers. When nobody wants to play with them, it can bring on big feelings.

So, my thoughts for those who feel unhappy in their current professional role but not sure what to do next…stay put for a little while longer. Find something you enjoy doing on the weekend and figure out why you like it so much. What does the environment look like? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Would you still show up to “work” if you aren’t paid? Are there job titles or descriptions that interests you? Can these descriptions ever apply to your current role or company?

It’s cliche, but your journey will be different from my experience. I hope that you find fulfillment and contentment in your time. People say “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” This is true because the work won’t feel like a job where you clock in and countdown the minutes to get out. The work will feel like having fun while getting paid to do it. It’s a radical and privileged position to be able to find that sweet spot.

I was always joking about early retirement as a staff accountant. In a way, I did retire early from that role but started a different role that spoke more to the core of my soul and personality. I’m quite a child at heart and love to listen to all the stories that the children share with me. I like figuring out what they’re saying by repeating it back to them and giggles happen because I can sometimes misunderstand their words completely. They appreciate my effort and give me a “Thanks for trying” hug or they’ll move on to another activity because they’ve finished their conversation with me. No hard feelings or awkwardness because I’ll be there next time in listening to their next story.

Now, be the author in your own book of life 🙂 As always, feel free to share your story with me and know that I can be a vault. I understand that some stories are not mine to share. I do my best to take care of other’s trust and attempt to be a story security box in a vault. The contents belong to you and shared only in your presence.

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Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What do you want to let go of?

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So cliche, but I pick negativity. That includes hearing the mumblings of other people’s petty comments under their breath. Perhaps I’m too sensitive but not everything needs to be a sarcastic joke at someone’s expense. Some jokes can end up alienating someone accidentally. If you notice it, just apologize to them in private, especially if you saw that person make a cringy face or excuse themselves for the restroom right after something’s said at the table. Wouldn’t hurt, right?

Growing up, having “tough skin” was applauded which gave way to lowering assertiveness on the priority list of skills to practice and gain. Defending myself would’ve been taken as disrespectful or talking back to someone. Then, in another group, it would be taken as being a “doormat”. Which is right? Who knows? I guess you have to be there and know the people involved to understand the situation.

Sometimes, history can come into play too. When someone gets too comfortable and assumes everyone gets their sense of humor, they can think everybody’s fair game. Not the case at all. So please…let’s observe others’ facial expressions and body language. It’ll help so much in the long run for someone who attempts to let things roll off their shoulder but actually feels awkward, but doesn’t want to cause tension and draw attention.

What about you? What do you want to let go?

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What would you do if you were not afraid?

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I would move away to a different state or country and live somewhere completely new. Although I grew up in mild weather, I prefer the colder side of mild. I’m imagining a low of 30 degrees to a high of 80 degrees. California is the perfect state for us because he enjoys warmer, tropical weather (Hawaii, anyone?). In California, we drive to our desired weather conditions. With a vast range of climates throughout our coastal states, we can visit different areas to enjoy seasonal changes.

International travel and road trips are my favorite because we get to immerse ourselves briefly into the local culture. It’s fun and exciting to see the local attractions, sights, and food! It takes us out of the bubble of daily routines and opens up a new perspective and lifestyle while creating memories.

Is there anything you’d like to do if you weren’t afraid?

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

How do you show love to others?

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I love spending quality time with those I love most. Out of the 5 love languages, I appreciate being given quality time too. Second to Acts of Service, quality time takes effort but it shares something we all could use more of……time.

As an extroverted introvert, I enjoy people and prefer smaller groups or one-on-one walks. Walking and talking are the best because staring and maintaining eye contact makes me nervous. I either get freaked out by it or others think something’s on their face or in their teeth. Walking can also give a safe space for processing thoughts and fresh air connects to nature.

I also enjoy fun activities like board games, co-op video games (Overcooked anyone?), and jigsaw puzzle solving. Coloring or reading in silence next to someone is special to me too! Quality time doesn’t require pouring soul-searching conversation topics onto the other person. Physical presence counts as quality time for me too because the other person would prefer to hang out with you around than anybody else. Super sweet in my book!

Out of Dr. Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, (Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), which is your top language?

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What is one of the kindest things someone has ever done for you?

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It happened when I was in 1st grade. An act of kind consideration from my cousin who asked if I needed help with my seatbelt and I accepted her offer. She reached over to click the seatbelt in and adjusted it so it was snug on me.

Being in 1st grade, I was expected to know how to settle into the car and I did but having someone older offer help was nice. I was not one to ask for help and usually no one really noticed my struggle because I figured out solutions through observations. Even then, I knew that the offer to help someone before they asked was a polite and kind act that was usually free unless you counted time as money.

I learned then that helping others made me feel good. Yes, some people could describe it as “trying too hard” but sometimes it’s less intimidating to accept help than to ask for help.

What about you? What is one of the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

If money was not an issue, how would you spend your time?

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If money wasn’t an issue, I would travel around the world on a cruise ship as my home. I guess I have to visit land family and relatives annually and clear the PO box at a local post office. I mean, cruise ships are basically floating cities from entertainment, food, medical, lectures from regional experts and meeting new people. When the ship ports or anchors, I’m in a new country, new city, new culture, and endless learning of all the things the world can offer to us. What’s not to love?

Yes, there’s another part of me that would not be able to have pet dogs, if I spend my life at sea. Specifically, I’d like another Shih Tzu, a Chihuahua, Brussels Griffon, a long-haired and a short haired Dachshund, and an American cocker spaniel. This motley crew of dogs would be my pack walking around a ranch or orchard filled with plum, cherry and peach trees. The blossoms on these trees are gorgeous and I love stone fruits. I have zero gardening skills and can only assist so I would hire farmers who enjoy taking care of trees.

These are two lives that I would lead if money isn’t an issue.

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What question would you ask a fortune teller?

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Fortune telling is not something I would think too much about because what is life, if not a series of mysterious happenings over time? If I asked a question and it’s answered, will I subconsciously manifest it into my life? Will the answer cast a shadow if it doesn’t happen to me? What question would I even ask? It’s opening a Pandora’s box of what if’s and if/then scenarios that could become an endless day of imaginations.

Some things are better left unasked and unknown because the essence of genuine authenticity of emotions can be voided. Let’s say, I win the Mega Millions Lottery. Will I experience less joy because I expected it? I think so. The cynical side of myself would even say that I would have high expectations and be disappointed in the end because it’s money that shows me the true selves of people around me.

On the flip side, what if the future holds a terminal illness for me? Will I try to outrun it by changing up my lifestyle? Will I slip into a YOLO (you only live once) spree and start my bucket list of global travel adventures? So many possibilities before reality even occurs because I choose to believe in the fortune teller’s capabilities.

No, I wouldn’t ask a fortune teller a question because if I’m ready to know the answer, it will (or won’t) happen in my life. I’ll face it when the time comes in reality. Internally, I feel like I’m in a version of The Truman Show with God as our ultimate producer and developer. Loved ones who passed away can “subscribe” to our life as a channel on their TV. If the loved ones would have suggestions for our life, they submit it to God and see if it fits in His plan for our life.

I’ll have to wait until I pass to find out what’s on the other side…

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What are you passionate about and want to spend more time doing?

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I’m passionate about working with children and dogs. After fifteen years of being a bookkeeper and corporate staff accountant, I took a big leap of faith toward a vocation of early childhood education. I must say, it’s been an absolute joy! I can volunteer on weekends at a local animal shelter to satisfy my love of dogs. Of course, there’s always visiting friends with dogs and dog-sitting as a side hustle. It’s so liberating to be spending my time with my passions.

My hobbies, such as leisure reading and coloring, have increased, too! Right now, I’m reading Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. I love the movie and finally have the chance to dive deeper into details that only a book can truly record. For coloring, I discovered an organization called Color A Smile, which sends drawings to seniors, soldiers, and anyone else who could use cheerful art to brighten their day. If you have a moment, check them out at https://colorasmile.org/

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What does success look like to you?

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The vision of success? What a loaded question. I suppose it changes as I grow older.

When I was in my 20’s, success looked like a fulfilling career that pays well, a happy marriage, and having material things like a house, a car, and traveling for vacation at least twice a year. Now in my mid-30’s, I prefer success to be defined with adjectives such as peaceful, content, minimalistic, and simple.

In a way, I see success as a target board. Each day is an attempt to achieve it and there will be wins and losses. Some days will be closer to the bullseye while other days are a bit further. All are acceptable when put into perspective: tomorrow is another day of attempts towards success.

Posted in My Journal, Projects, Writing

What are you working towards that you could use help with?

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I’ll be honest. I’m great at helping others but could use some practice in asking for help. I’m someone who jumps in to offer help when someone seems to be struggling. With that instinct, I assume that others would do the same when I’m in need of help. Most of the time, it doesn’t work out that way.

I know, I know. Expecting others to figure out what I need is like expecting water to pour itself into my cup when I’m thirsty. Needing to be more assertive is something that’s hard for me because self-reliance is something that’s instilled into me from an early age. I love the autonomy that comes with being independent.

There’s a difference between independence and solitude. I enjoy being around another person or a small, intimate team of colleagues, friends, and family. Being independent is being able to make decisions that work for me, not traditions or societal “norms”.

Currently, I’m out of my comfort zone and coaching other adults and teen volunteers within the Early Kids ministry at my church. I’m so grateful to have a great group of volunteers yet I’m having trouble not being the “fixer” to every problem. Letting go, delegating, and supporting others instead of doing everything myself, is a HUGE challenge for me. I’m a hands-on person in ALL sense of the word. If I see a situation, I would jump in and figure it out. There’s no manual when working with children so much as being flexible even when there’s a curriculum plan in place. Some days preschoolers don’t want to do a Bible story-related craft and that’s OK! We can give the child materials for the craft to complete at home and engage with in-class games and talk about the Bible story as it relates to their 3-5-year-old selves, instead. As long as the child stays interested, they’ll engage in class.

Having shared this, it takes a special kind of adult with a growth mindset to be a long-term fit for leading a class of preschoolers. In the beginning days of leading a curriculum class, I found myself “less-than” when I couldn’t engage the child in the craft. My specialty was comforting babies and toddlers through separation anxiety by using different techniques involving soothing music and multiple toy alternatives. How can craft NOT be more interesting?! Over time, I let go of expectations and met each child’s emotional needs for the weekly hour of time that we had together.

Coming out of COVID, these toddlers may not have experienced social settings that involved peers or adults. Knowing that I struggled with the adjustment as an adult, it’ll take more time for a toddler to understand that we CAN share and we CAN be near each other and have fun.

All in all, I’m working on being more assertive and asking for help when I need it. Thanks for reading through this until this point! Is there something you’re working towards that could use a bit of help?